Kidding 1st-Time Parents For Being… 1st-Time Parents
Our kids are we and themselves. Narcissistic in that way that we reach out to understand the chaos by putting on the right sunglasses (the ones we bought because we liked the color or the shape or the way they framed our face… or that someone told us we needed them). We can’t say there was no self-absorption built into our choice—who are we, anyway, without thousands of on-the-fly choices that won’t wait around for analysis?
These are the Jokes, Folks
I am a person of humor, which means rather than tell it straight up, I repackage my little kernel truths in the belief that I can present them better than the sales clerk who asks me, right from the script, if I want that gift-wrapped to go? (No, thank you, forgetting the burden of scissors, tape and paper.) We laugh at a joke, my kids and I, at the same time, where to anyone else there is nothing funny. In that one All-Moment, they are themselves and me.
And when there is nothing, without calling for it, I find myself already hitched up & dragged out: By my reindeer (a better image here than oxen or another beast of burden). Thank goodness (substitute words available upon request) they aren’t me, but that they hear and respond to the me in them.
My Life That Will Be
I’m not a nineteenth-century farmer, who did his part to create a future work force. I’m no coddler, either, who tried to make a better me, just free of pain & dysfunction. But—is bleach or sunshine that makes colors so hard to see at times?—in that moment if laughing with them, there it is, that kernel truth.
Which is always now.